The number three thing to avoid is: pretending. I know this is a big ask because we’re always pretending and we don’t know we’re pretending.
Sometimes we do, right? If you’re in a play and you’re pretending you know that you are pretending. In a poker game you know, and the really good poker players are the ones who can consciously pretend the best. Sometimes we know when we’re putting on a false face, but mostly we don’t. So, this is a big ask.
Here’s the here’s the problem the way I see it: if you don’t know who you are, you always have to pretend because human nature is designed around knowing who you are. This is a series on how nonduality and Native wisdom intersect, and this is something very different that I’m bringing to the discussion on nonduality. Knowing who you are is your deepest nature, pretending is covers up never having seen that
Traditional nonduality teachings come from the idea that we don’t know who we are. This is seen as the natural state. Traditional nondual teachings say we have to attain an amazing enlightenment in order to find out who we are.
I disagree with that basic assumption. I think that native wisdom shows us that the natural human state is to know exactly who you are, and who you are is going to be rooted in place and people. Who you are includes your biology. ‘I am this particular tribe, I am this being me that lives interconnected here in this place.’ I think that’s the natural human state. It’s a broken state we have entered into with modern civilization that causes us to not know who we are.
I think that the basic human nature is like a magnet, to know who you are: magnetically. It’s like a primal drive. If we get confused in not knowing who we are, we’re going to have to pretend. I’m talking about a huge, huge compulsion to pretend.
What we’re learning with nonduality is that if we can get past that, then awakening is just right there over your shoulder.
If we can avoid pretending, if we can start noticing when we’re pretending we will leap towards true self knowing. Bringing this into your attention you’ll notice that most of the time you are pretending. We all pretend to be something more wonderful than what we are, right? ‘I an a loving being. I am Unity exemplified.’
We pretend these things, don’t we? We’ll actually buy outfits to look like the thing we are pretending to be. There’s so many wonderful outfits now from the east… of course, we all want to wear them! There is no real harm in it, but how does it change your feeling of identity when you put that on? Are you a different person if you’re in plain ratty clothes? Are you a different person if you’re in a business suit?
We use our clothes to pretend who we are. We use our hair and makeup to pretend who we are. We use our crust of knowing to pretend who we are. That’s a big one. We use our crust of anger to pretend who we are. We use our crust of loving to pretend who we are. We criticize others constantly because they’re not living up to our standards… because neither are we. Pretending, pretending, pretending.
There’s no way to stop pretending until you completely break through into this inner knowing of who you are. What you can do, and why it’s on my list of things to avoid, is start noticing when you’re doing it.
Just start noticing. ‘Oh, that’s a false face.’
Caution: It’s very easy to notice the false face on other people. It’s actually a good place to start, so go ahead and do that. Start seeing it on other people and there is a better chance that you’re going to start seeing it on yourself. Don’t be an [ __ ] calling people out on it.
You’re not the boss of them! You’re the boss of you. No. Be a nice person. Every time you see it on someone else, know that this is on you too.
Soon enough we can go beyond pretending to become a natural, authentic human being when we know who we are.