Nonduality explained: pretending.
That’s really a better way to describe what Nonduality teachers, for hundreds of years, have called the “false face” we walk around with. This false face means we’re just pretending to be something that we’re not. We’re taught that we’re supposed to be all these things that we’re not, and so, in order to get along in our crazy society, we pretend.
Do you ever feel false in your life, like you’re a fake? Well, yeah… it’s because that’s what we’re taught to be. In our society, what really matters is how good of a fake you are—how well you can pull it off. But this is what’s literally destroying the world. We need to be fully awake, embodied, real human beings in order to grapple with the effect that we collectively have on things. We need real, awake people without the false face.
Change “false face” to the word “pretending” and start noticing how often you pretend.
It’s way easier to notice it in other people. Watch how people pretend.
I just saw this really nice movie from a young man who had an awakening experience, and what he was talking about is that growing up in our society, everybody is so fake and everyone he knew was so cynical. Fake and cynical go together because if you don’t have the real ground of being in yourself as a human being and you actually think that you’re this fake thing and that everyone around you is a fake thing, then you’re going to be cynical. So, he grew up, and all of his friends were cynical; they were all fake. That’s when you have all the drunken parties and everything, because what are you going to do when everybody’s fake? At least you get drunk and you can kind of be yourself for a few minutes, right?
Anyway, he was somewhere, and he was listening to a young Native American man speaking, and he was shocked because it was the very first time in his whole life he had seen and heard a human being being authentic. It just literally cracked him.
When you see it, you just know it! This is why we love children; this is why we love babies—they’re authentic, they’re real human beings. This is why we love dogs and cats, right? Because they’re authentic.
So, this false face, this constantly pretending, pretending, pretending, is so damaging. We can see it.
Number one, watch how fake you are at pretending that you understand nonduality, because that’s just insane. People who have no idea what they are talking about love to talk about Nonduality. It’s so obscure you think you are covering up the fact that you are fake.
No. Let it crack you, like how seeing that authentic man speaking cracked this fellow open. The false face can drop like that because the real us wants to come out. I mean, inside, we’re kind of really just that child that was born full of life and wants to live life full of life that way. This is the authentic human being, not this “I’m spiritual now,” or “I’m behaving myself,” or “I know all the rules, and I’m going to tell you how to live by all the rules.” Ever meet anybody like that? It’s all pretending, pretending, pretending.
So, do you feel confused about life? Do you feel like you don’t fit in? Good. That means you’re not good at pretending, so congratulate yourself on that, because there is a real, alive human being that is you underneath this pretending. What we’re doing in nonduality is trying to get through the pretending.
The easiest way to get through it is to start noticing it. Notice it in other people; notice it when you’re being fake. You’re not going to be able to stop it, and lots of times there are situations where, in order to fit in as much as possible and do your job and do all sorts of things, you’re going to have to be fake. So just be it, but notice it while you’re doing it. If we can all stop pretending, then imagine how nice it is to have real human beings communing and in community with other real human beings. So, in essence, nonduality is about getting to the place where the pretending drops.