It’s OK to be unhappy. That’s a pretty radical statement for here in our modern world, right? We’re taught that everything should make us happy and that happiness is actually the goal. We are actually taught, when we study Eastern religions and enlightenment and nonduality, that that’s the point: Happiness, bliss, sublime peace, whatever.
What if instead we actually admitted that we’re not happy all the time? And that that’s just fine. Being happy all the time would actually be very, very stressful. I mean, like… when would you sleep, right?
Well, come on, let’s be honest. We’re not happy all the time. Nobody is. Lots of people fake it, and the faking is very stressful and very damaging to other people.
We have the big self-help gurus who actually teach happiness all the time, and they look happy. Well, they’ve got millions of bucks. That kind of helps, right?
But what about you and me?
What about moments of calmness? You know, those moments. What about when you’re just sitting there calmly? Are you really happy?
What about if you’re just simply content? Is that good enough? In our world of commodities, it’s not.
We’re constantly being bombarded with things that are going to make us happier. We now have computer algorithms that constantly bombard us with the next product that’s going to make us happy or the next emotional trick that’s going to make us happy. Or the enlightenment trick, or the spiritual goal… raising all our chakras, reaching our higher self… or whatever.
What if it was okay to just be unhappy? What if it was okay to be very, very sad. What if it was okay to feel the way we feel with things don’t go right.
If we allow sadness to be a natural part of our lives, then we learn from these things. Because, I mean, it’s uncomfortable. You do want to get away from things that are uncomfortable.
But if we let these uncomfortable things be a part of our lives, then we learn the skills that are necessary to build a good life. And as a result we’re way less annoying to other people.
Maybe that should be the prime point. If you’re just happy all the time, how annoying is that for all the people that are having problems?
There is a happiness that can be shared, but that’s like a calm happiness. It’s not a drugged-out happiness.
But in our world today it’s that drugged-out happiness that we’re looking for! It’s what we’ve been taught to expect out of our lives.
That’s how we teach little children. We teach them that they always have to be happy. We’re constantly distracting them with the next little thing that’s going to make them happy. But what if we could just be what we are at all times? It’s much more relaxing and real to be relaxed. To simply be content.
This wild, drunken happiness is not really happiness. It’s more like a buzz. It doesn’t stay and there is always a hangover.
Think of it from the point of non-duality.
If you think you always have to be happy, then two things are going to happen.
One, you’re going to constantly pretend that you are. And pretending is literally the opposite of non-duality because you’re pretending to be something that you’re not.
Or you’re going to notice when you’re unhappy. And then you’re going to feel like an angst about the unhappiness itself.
Instead of that, we can realize that unhappiness is part of life. This is the way human beings are. We have a range of emotions and they go everywhere and they’re not wrong.
Our emotions are fabulous clues to help us live our best lives.
So give up on the idea of happiness. Just too stressful to try to be there.
It’s way better to just be a decent, real human being. Hopefully be caring and kind for others, which is another benefit of not trying to be happy all the time. Because then you feel your own sadness. You feel your own angst. You feel your own anger and fear. Then you understand yourself and understand others.
And so when you see other people feeling these things, you can relate and be compassionate and maybe even have an idea how to help. Kind, caring, relating to others. These things are way, way more important than happiness.
More Messages
The messages of truth and love are coming from everywhere. Here are some recent videos from my friend Susanne Marie.
A Powerful Non-Dual Message | The Crisis of Ignorance
Toxic Positivity Stunts Your Awakening | The Secret to Breaking Free From Duality & Identification
