Nonduality is not about you. This is something that is obvious once you look at it, but we kind of don’t tend to notice it because we’re taught that the spiritual search is something that “I’m trying to do.” “I’m trying to become more spiritual.” “I’m trying to go to heaven,” or “I’m trying to erase the dual self,” or something like that.
But the idea, if you’ve studied nonduality at all, is to blend into everything, to become not two, to become not separate from everything. So, one way that it’s often expressed is that the “you” disappears. And so, if you’re seeing that at all, it can’t be about you. If the “you” is what disappears, you can’t disappear, you—you. Nonduality is really bad in this way because of some bad teachings and just mostly misinterpretation of what it’s about. So many non-u things that you’ll hear are about getting away from suffering. And of course, we all want to get away from suffering. And so, you fall into this idea that it’s about you, that you are trying to get away from suffering. But it’s the exact opposite of that that brings relief from the suffering you. So, you know, it’s this paradox. There are a lot of non-u teachings that seem to be about manifesting whatever you want, like somehow or another. And how does this make sense at all? Like, somehow or another, if you completely erase the separate you, then you can manifest whatever you want. Where did this come from? And it’s because, you know, if you blend into the universe, then you can control the universe and what the universe brings to you. But we’re trying to become just literally unified with everything to get away from duality. The non-dual state is the exact same whether you’re rich or poor, whether you get what you want for Christmas or not. So, you can take a big step forward in your nonu search and practices the second you realize this is not about you. It’s not about something that you’re going to get. It’s about you becoming more and more real and able to interact with the world as this real true self, to become a full human being.